I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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