On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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