I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
