i barfeds in our rink
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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