I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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