You can't special order awesome
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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