I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
