This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
