You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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