Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
