We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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