He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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