Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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