apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We are all done wearing pants today
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
