Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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