Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize