I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
