porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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