i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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