Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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