It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Randomize
