is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
