im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
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