last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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