He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
