some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You work out of a Hotel?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
