she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
