He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize