sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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