Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
