Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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