you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize