This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
