I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
