i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize