Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
