btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
