I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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