Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
