Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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