My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize