Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
