You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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