hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
