The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
