I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
