Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
