somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
