I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize