soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
