You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
