You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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