I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
