and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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