11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
