I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
