Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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