Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
4 words: hood of his car
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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