Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's never too late to be topless.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize