I can't watch pbs sober anymore
farters have to be the big spoon...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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