Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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